Will my kids be happy if we move abroad?
Are you a parent struggling with the decision to move abroad because you are concerned about your children’s happiness? Do you worry about how they will manage and if they will be content in their new life?
You are not alone. Many parents struggle with this question.
As parents, we put a lot of emotional energy into ensuring that our children are happy and we try to minimize their suffering. It’s natural. The last thing we want is for them to experience pain. You and your partner may be excited by the prospect of moving abroad and the adventure you will have, but you worry about your children. Will the culture shock, language barrier, and new environment make your children unhappy? You question if it is the right choice.
Your children will face challenges moving overseas
This is nearly certain. There will likely be times when they will miss their old friends and family back home. They may also struggle with the language barrier and cultural differences. They may take a long time to feel at ease in their new school and to integrate into their school community.
But moving abroad with your children will also provide an immense amount of opportunity for growth. They may have the opportunity to learn a new language, experience a new culture, and make new friends from different parts of the world.
Their minds and perspectives will be broadened, making them more accepting, tolerant, and inclusive humans. They will learn to adapt to different situations, which will help them become more confident, resilient, and independent.
Moving to a new country can be a big change, and it can take time to adjust.
However, there are many factors that can influence how your children feel about the move abroad.
For example, if you involve your children in the decision-making process and talk to them about the benefits of moving overseas, they may feel more excited about the move. Similarly, if you make sure to support your children emotionally and help them make new friends in the new country, they may be more likely to adapt and feel happy.
Keep in mind that every child is different. Some children may be more adaptable and open to change, while others may need more time to adjust. It's important to be patient and understanding with your children during this transition and to provide them with the support and resources they need to feel comfortable and happy.
What are a few things you can do to ensure that your children will be happy and well-adjusted when they move overseas?
- Involve them in the planning process. Involve your children in the planning process and let them have a say in some of the decisions. This can help them feel more in control of the situation and reduce anxiety.
- Learn about the new country together. Take time to learn about the new country and its culture with your children. Encourage them to ask questions and be curious about their new surroundings. Provide them with as much information as possible, such as pictures, videos, and maps, to help them visualize and understand the new country and culture.
- Help them maintain connections with family and friends. Help your children maintain connections with family and friends back home through phone calls, video chats, and social media. This can help them feel connected and supported during the transition.
- Find ways to stay connected to your culture. Find ways to keep your family connected to your home culture, such as cooking traditional meals, listening to music, and celebrating holidays and festivals.
- Find opportunities for socialization. Look for opportunities for your children to meet new friends through school, extracurricular activities, and community events. Support them in building new relationships and finding social support.
- Get involved in the community. Get involved in the local community and encourage your children to do the same. Participate in community events and activities, volunteer, and explore the new environment together.
Stay positive and be patient
- Stay positive and be patient. Stay positive and optimistic about the move, and be patient with your children as they adjust to the new environment. It may take time for them to feel comfortable and settled. Listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and provide support and reassurance when needed.
- Create a routine. Establish a routine that includes regular mealtimes, sleep schedules, and homework times. This can help create a sense of stability and normalcy for your children.
- Be open and available. Be open and available to your children's feelings and concerns. Encourage them to express themselves and validate their emotions. Approach situations with tolerance and patience and make space for them to feel everything they are feeling.
Ultimately, the key to ensuring that your children are happy after moving overseas is to be proactive and thoughtful in your approach.
It weighs heavy on us as parents when we think we might be doing something that is making our kids’ lives difficult. And it is often hard to watch them at the beginning of an expatriation as they navigate the challenges of their new life; the tears, the homesickness, the unhappiness.
Try to remember that if you do decide to move your family overseas, the benefits often largely outweigh the difficulties. We as parents need to be patient and also trust the process. Kids are amazingly resilient and you are building on that resilience by challenging them in their new country. They will come out the other side as stronger, more flexible, more accepting, and more tolerant global citizens.
As parents, we need to hang in there and let the magic of living overseas take its course.
By taking steps to involve your children in the process, providing emotional support, and helping them make new connections, you can increase the likelihood that they will adjust well to their new environment and feel happy and fulfilled in their new home.
If you are questioning if this is the right decision for you or if you are a mother who has made the choice and is struggling to see it through, contact us. We can help. Our coaching will provide you with the support, tools and strategies to get you through this period and give your children the best expatriation experience possible!
Karly is a mother of two children ages six and eight. With her two littles, she has lived in four countries and moved four times internationally since they were born. If you need support with this transition, she would love to hear from you.
Click here to book your free call with Karly (English)
Click here to book your free call with Chloé (French)